QUESTION:

I just want to say that I have been listening to the ******** tapes for around 13yrs now  but over the last 3yrs or so have been noticing that the focus at ******* is not on freedom in this moment, but on the selling of a product.  At about the same time, fate lead me to Gangaji (and others) and the way of advaita, which seems to cut through all the "imaginary red tape".  anyway, the question of "who am I" resonates moment to moment with me, and has for a long time now (actually probably all my life).  .finally, we get to my questions.....as one who has awakened (either because of, or in spite of , or even with the help of the "**** experience" you know more of that than anyone I know.  my questions are simply these: do you think that these tapes are of any value; are they a hindrance? do you recommend, or not recommend using them (it has certainly been an adventure (an expensive one) using them, but now, something deep down says it's time to stop all that).....I continue to listen to the tapes every day (they have been putting me "out" sometimes for 3-4 hrs at a time and I don't know if this is a good thing (or just an addiction to endorphin overload).  could you shed some light on this for me? 

 

also, as an aside, in the last 18 months or so, I have had the privilege of attending satsang with ****** (whose inner silence is sometimes overwhelming), who was awakened by Papaji, but even going to satsang (only 90 min away) seems redundant and unnecessary lately (like I'm just chasing my tail).....am confused.....can you help?

 

ANSWER FROM KIP:

 

 

Really, the only thing that I can tell you, or point to is this moment, right now.  If you rest here with me, as you read these words, allowing everything to be as it is, right now.  If thoughts come, let them come.  Let whatever sensations, pains and pleasures, be as they are right here, completely.  Right now.  Yes?  Everything is happening all by itself right now if you remain present does it not?  Thoughts come by themselves, breathing happens by itself, sensations come by themselves.  You are resting here in this moment, as hereness itself and all of these things are taking care of themselves. 

 

Isn't this nice?  That everything is taking care of itself, and we can just rest here, in this moment as this moment?  In this moment, as this moment, is there any separation?  Only if you define "you" is there separation.  But if you rest here, there is no definition, there is just you, being you without you doing anything about it.

 

This is the truth and the only truth.  Everything is the play of consciousness, everything is happening by itself.  The only thing you can do is rest here in this moment and let life live.  If you rest here, consciousness is taking care of itself, taking care of you perfectly.

 

You will use the tapes until they fall away.  If they fall away and you miss them, then you will listen to them again. You will see your teacher until it is redundant, then you won't.  If you want to see him again, then see him again.  Let what pull, pull.   

 

I know I am not answering your questions.  Because it is not even for you to answer the questions.  Just to rest here, in this moment as much as possible.  If the technique, "who am I?"  assists you staying here, then that is good.  It certainly was very helpful for me.  But this is it, when you rest here, you see decisions happen by themselves.  You cannot do anything wrong, you cannot do anything right.  There is ONLY THE PLAY OF CONSCIOUSNESS.  That's it, playing itself perfectly as it is supposed to.  If you stop listening to the tapes or continue, whether you stop seeing your teacher or continue.  It is the way it is supposed to be.  You did not make the decisions.

In this, there is already freedom, there is already peace.  And it is you, all you.

 

And as this, ******* and ******, is just playing themselves out as they should.  As your decision to see Gangaji was not yours.  See how perfectly it is all happening?  Your own path to awakening happening perfectly without you at the wheel?  So stop pretending that you are driving, that is it. 

 

It is like those cars in the merry-go-round at carnivals for children,  they just go around and around and the kids sit in them and pretend that they're driving.  Wouldn't you feel silly sitting in one of those cars that go round and round like a merry go round  and really believe that you are driving?  Turning the wheel just right so you can make it in that perfect circle?  Clutching the wheel, trying to pass the car in front of you?  Honking your horn in fear the kid riding in the car next to you might run into you?

 

And you ask me "Kip, do you think I should turn the other direction?  or drive faster?  Maybe I should try to pass the red car in front of me?  or maybe I should give that six year old the finger because she's always right on my tail?"

I'd have to tell you "Keep your voice down, Jon.  It's a merry-go-round, you can only go the way it is going!"

 

Everything that happens is needed.  Consciousness leaves nothing unattended.  The only thing I can tell you is rest here.  Surrender to this moment. Get out of your thinking that you think your thoughts and need to make a decision. Everything will let you know very clearly what needs to be done.  You will even feel consciousness moving you in a certain direction as you rest here more and more.  And when you get pulled back into your thoughts, just remember to come back to this moment, as this has to play itself out too.

 

I hope I didn't answer your question as there is no question.  You only think there is.

 

Much Love and Many Blessings,

 

 

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